


offline

by terussnowball



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Character Death, Child Abuse, Child Murder, Depressed Kozume Kenma, Depression, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Pedophilia, Pre-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:14:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29641467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terussnowball/pseuds/terussnowball
Summary: Your mom was close friends with Kenma's mom, so when you were born, you immediately became friends with Kenma after meeting him on your first birthday. There's a one-year age gap between you, him being older, but it didn't matter that much. You spend a lot of time together, both of you being addicted to video games since he got you interested in it. You often stay awake until two am to play games with him, if not longer. Your favorite past-time activity is just playing games with Kenma while you're on a call with each other on Discord.You're best friends and started dating during middle school; even though it didn't make much of a difference in your relationship, it just meant that he now wouldn't be lying when he said he had a girlfriend to girls wanting to flirt with him when he was playing games. Every minute spent with him was precious to you and every minute spent with you was precious to him.
Relationships: Kozume Kenma & Reader, Kozume Kenma/Reader, Kozume Kenma/You
Comments: 1
Kudos: 22





	offline

**Author's Note:**

> this story was inspired by a couple of songs and some of the lyrics will be quotes so feel free to comment if you recognize them! i hope i've tagged the oneshot as best as i could, but if you notice something that i should include in the tags or archive warnings then please do let me know in the comments so i can add it !! i'm still new to ao3 tags.

"Kyanmaaaa! You clearly cheated on that last round," you pouted as you put down the controller and took your soda, taking a couple of sips from it. You and Kenma had been playing video games for almost three hours. You decided on having a sleepover this weekend; it was to play all of his games since he was considering getting rid of some. He wasn't sure which ones, though, so you were doing this to see which ones were still fun to play and which ones were worth getting rid of. You sighed as you got up and looked around the messy room. "Are you sure you don't want me to clean your room? I don't mind it," you say, and he shakes his head.

"I didn't cheat," he chuckled before answering your question; "I like it when it's a bit messy, and I have my own system of where my stuff is, so it's fine," he said, and you knew there was no point in arguing, so you just nod and walk over to the shelf to find the next game to play. While going through different games, you can hear Kenma taking pictures of you with his phone, and you chuckle softly while ignoring it. You finally pick out a game, so you crawl over to the PlayStation and open it, putting in the new game after taking out the old and putting it back in its case. You look at Kenma. "Keep?"

He nods.

You place it in the box of games he's going to keep before crawling back over to him, cuddling into him as you watch the game load. "Really?" He chuckles as he sees what game it is, "I'm gonna win." You say determined, and he laughs as Super Smash Bros music starts playing through the speakers.

After almost five rounds of playing Super Smash Bros and a couple of hours later, it was currently three am and you were getting hungry. Kenma's mom was away for the weekend, but it didn't matter that much. "I'll call Kuro and ask him if he can drive us to McDonald's; he just got his license not too long ago." Kenma said and picked up his phone to call Kuroo as if that was totally normal to do at three am.

While Kenma tried to reach Kuroo, you got up and started to clean his room even if he didn't want to. You didn't move around on stuff or make it neater, but you just picked up the things you knew would get thrown away sooner or later anyway. If Kuroo would drive you both to McDonald's, you could just bring the garbage bag with you to throw it in the bin when you left the house.

"Kuro will be here in ten minutes," Kenma said and walked over to you after getting up, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his head on your back. You giggle and put down the trashbag, turning around to hug Kenma with a soft smile resting on your face. He smirked as he pulled you back drastically, making you both fall sideways onto the bed and break into a fit of giggles. "We have some time until Kuro comes," he mumbled and nuzzled his nose into your neck, making you blush before smiling.

"Yeah, like five minutes because you and I both know we need those other five minutes to even get ready and get out of the room." You say and start stroking his hair as if he was a cat; it was something you did as a joke when you were younger but ended up continuing to do it. "It's McDonald's, we can show up in pajamas, and they would not give a fuck." He laughed.

You just laid in bed, cuddling each other and nuzzling your noses into the other's neck now and then. You enjoyed moments like these so much, and you never wanted them to end. As you enjoyed the silence while in each other's arms, it was quickly broken by loud honking outside, making you both sit up quickly.

"Kuroo" "Kuro," You both say at the same time before breaking into a fit of laughter again for no reason at all. You threw on one of Kenma's hoodie while hurrying down the stairs with him and putting on some shoes quickly, and walking out of the house. Kenma locked the door while you headed to the car, smiling at the older who didn't exactly look happy picking up his best friend and his girlfriend this late.

You open the backdoor, assuming Kenma wants to sit in the front passenger seat with Kuroo and close it after getting inside, "who's ide-"

"Kenma," you say before he finished his sentence, and the older nods as if he already had a thought that it was Kenma's idea to visit McDonald's this late at night. Kenma joined them in the car not long after, and Kuroo just shook his head before driving. "Not exactly how I planned to spend my Saturday night," he said, and Kenma rolled his eyes.

"It's not like you had things to do," he said, and Kuroo gave him a side glare, "unlike you, Kenma: I sleep." He sighed while Kenma started playing around with the stereo to connect it to his Bluetooth on the phone and put on 'good music' since Kuroo apparently never played the music that Kenma liked. "If you fuck up my stereo, then I'm gonna kill you," Kuroo said as Kenma just waved his hand at him. "I'm not gonna break it, relax dude."

You drove down the streets, the windows rolled down as the music was blasting through the stereo. It was early June, so summer was around the corner, which meant summer break and more time to spend with Kenma, even though you already spent almost every waking and sleeping minute with him. Your hand rested in the car's window sill, leaning your body back and closing the eyes to try and picture what you'd do in summer break.

Kenma and Kuroo's chatter was like background music for the actual music playing, and you felt relaxed even if they would be bickering. Your thoughts wandered, your lips curling into a broader smile for every second you thought about your relationship and friendship with Kenma. It'd been 17 years, and so much time had passed; it didn't seem like a lot of time either.

"Y/N, we're getting close. Let me know what you want so I can write it down for Kuroo to order." You realized you had fallen asleep as you were awoken by Kenma shaking your leg from the front seat and talking to you, "oh, sorry," you mumble and sit up properly.

You look at Kuroo, who had his right hand on the steering wheel and his other in the window sill like you had. He didn't pay much attention to you, but you knew he cared and that he was happy for the things you had done for Kenma. "Chibi-chan, we're there in about two minutes, and I doubt there's a queue, so hurry up," Kuroo jokingly nagged as you rolled your eyes and told Kenma what you wanted to order. The latter wrote it down and had his phone ready, so he could hand it to Kuroo once they got to the drive-thru.

You started bouncing your legs up and down in a nervous manner, wondering if you ordered too much. He will notice if you put on weight. Kuroo drove away from the drive-thru after paying and headed for somewhere they could stop to eat and talk with each other without being around any highways or other places that could disturb their peace.

After driving for what felt like an hour but was only five minutes, Kuroo parked the car on the top floor of a parking garage so you could sit outside and enjoy the view of the city while eating. You got out of the car, climbing onto the car; Kuroo sat on the roof while you and Kenma stayed on the hood, mostly because Kuroo demanded to sit on the top on the way here since he owned the car. Kenma had joked and said he just wanted to feel important, which somehow meant sitting on the rooftop of his own car. Neither you nor Kenma could really see or understand that logic, but you didn't argue with him as that usually just ended with either Kenma or Kuroo getting visibly upset and start fighting. You'd been friends with them long enough to understand that by now.

You watched Kenma playing on his portable PlayStation as he described this new game he'd bought to you and Kuroo. This was the fifth time you heard him talk about it and Kuroo's first, but that didn't stop you from admiring him as he had stars in his while describing the different levels and how it's one of the more challenging games he's had to play for a while which was refreshing to him. "I love it so much, and yesterday I lost at one of the levels about five times because I kept getting killed at the last stage!" He said, taking a bite of the burger Kuroo fed to him since he was too busy playing to be eating.

"Kenma, you sure you don't want to feed yourself and talk to your best friend and girlfriend instead of playing?" Kuroo said with a raised eyebrow which made you snap out of the admiration of Kenma. Kuroo clearly noticed, and he chuckled, "doesn't seem like it's bothering Y/N, but I would love to talk to you two considering I bothered getting up this late to drive you both to McDonald's." He said in a threatening but jokingly tone as Kenma groaned.

He didn't really argue, which was surprising; he turned off his game after saving and took the burger from Kuroo. "What is there to talk about, though?" He asked, and Kuroo shrugged, "why are the two of you awake this late?" He asked as if it was quite an obvious question. He knew Kenma had a weird sleep schedule and was basically nocturnal, but he didn't think you were like that as well.

Kenma tilted his head to the left as he studied you, "kitten, you're not eating much. Do you feel sick?"

His question took you off guard as you were almost finished with your small bag of fries. Kuroo also looked at you a bit worried as he remembered you not ordering much, so he looked down at the food in front of you. "Are you sure that's enough food for you? This is your dinner, isn't it?" He asked, confused as he shared a worried side glance with Kenma without letting you notice.

"I'm fine," you whispered and put on a smile to make sure they didn't worry. "I usually don't eat a lot," you explained with a chuckle, and Kenma took one of his burgers before placing it in front of you. "That's a lie; the last sleepover, you ate almost the entire pizza by yourself." He said with an annoyed tone in voice, hurt that you would lie to his face.

You gulped; he hadn't liked you eating so much the last sleepover. "I'm sorry, but I really am not that hungry since it's so late!" You try to explain and pick up the burger, deciding to eat it, and do a morning jog tomorrow to burn it off. 

Both Kenma and Kuroo could tell that you didn't tell the truth, but bringing down the mood this late at night would be a bad idea, so they didn't discuss it any further, which you were quite thankful for.

The rest of the night went with the three of you eating the rest of the food and then taking a random drive all around Tokyo until morning while playing music, you and Kuroo screaming at the top of your lungs. In contrast, Kenma played his games and finally beating the hard level he'd been complaining about. The weekend ended, and it was time for you to go home so you could get ready for school since your parents and Kenma's mom had both become stricter at not letting you have sleepover during weekdays while there still was school since you'd end up staying up all night playing games.

** applepi:  ** _ r u ok? _

_ i'm fine, don't worry about it _ ** :sxftkxtty **

** applepi: ** _ im ur bf... _

** applepi: ** _ its kinda my job _

_ pudding, i'm fine okay? just had a fight with my dad  _ ** :sxftkxtty **

** applepi: ** _ if ur fine then y tf is ur window nailed shut????? _

** applepi:  ** _ that's not fucking ok _

** applepi:  ** _ tf do u do if a fire starts? just burn alive?? tf _

** applepi: ** _ ur dad needs to ask ur grandparents 4 his money back, he didn't get his braincells in the package _

_ gtg, dad's turning off the wifi  _ ** :sxftkxtty **

** applepi:  ** _ if he hurts u, ill kill him _

** applepi:  ** _ n u cant stop me bc i will kill him with kuro _

** applepi:  ** _ ive played yandere simulator; if theres something i can do then its to dispose of a body _

You were sitting on the bed, your dad standing in the door to make sure you were going to sleep. "I'm going!" You said carefully and turned around, rolling your eyes and hoping he didn't notice, but he was observing you and saw the slightest disrespect. Within seconds he was by your side of the bed, grabbing your hands and cuffing them in his hands above your head as he grabbed your chin. He slapped you on both sides of the face before taking ahold of your chin once more and tightening the grip.

"What have I told you about being disrespectful, princess?" he said through gritted teeth. "That it's not allowed, sir." You say and lower your head, but he lifts it up and tightens the grip more, making it feel like he's going to break your jaw. "Don't lower your head when I'm talking to you," he snapped and grabbed hold of your neck before lifting you up. "Next time you disrespect daddy, I'm going to have to punish you. We don't want that, do we?" He said as you shook your head, tears welling up in your eyes. "Good," he said and dropped you onto the bed again.

He bent down and kissed your lips softly, you didn't kiss back, but you could feel him grabbing your wrists and tightening the grip, so you quickly kissed back so he would stop hurting you. "Good girl," he smiled and pulled away from the kiss before walking out, "good night, baby." He said and closed the door.

You broke down in tears as soon as you heard him go downstairs and went under your blankets, screaming into the pillows to make sure it got muffled and dried your lips as much as you could to get the nauseous feeling away.

_ why why, why why why, why him, why me, why _

You weren't able to control the thoughts in your head, and the worst part was that you had to hold all of this a secret because if you told someone, then your dad would make sure to punish you for it. You hated this house, this family, this place, except for Kenma. Kenma made it better. Kenma didn't hurt you.

You didn't sleep that night, you didn't go to school that morning, and your dad let you stay home as long as no one was invited over, and you did your homework. You couldn't face Kenma, not after what your dad did. Of course, he'd done worse, but Kenma would be able to tell something was wrong. You couldn't hurt his feelings like that; it'd break him.

You didn't want that.

_ i can hurt; just don't let him hurt _

Your daily motto and the only thoughts that went through your head whenever your dad abused you, hurt you, kissed you, raped you. Nothing hurt more than seeing Kenma hurt and in pain, so if he could avoid that, then that would be the best of it all.

Right?

Kenma was walking home, still playing on his portable PlayStation. He heard you stayed home because you felt unwell, so he would drop by your place with some chocolate and games to make you feel better. He lifted up his head as he knew he was close to your house, but what he saw was not what he expected, and his console dropped to the ground and broke, but that was the least of his worries. He felt his knees grow weak as he fell to the ground, just looking at the scene in front of him, and he didn't even notice Kuroo, who was practically speeding and hitting the brakes in front of your house.

Everything that was in Kenma's blurry vision was police cars, a man in handcuffs smirking, ambulances, and your mother crying with screams as two medics carried out a body.

"Kenma!" Kuroo ran up to his best friend and crouched down to him. "Kenma, you need to breathe. Let's go to the car," he said and picked up the younger, and the latter, who hadn't been speaking so loudly even since he was a kid, suddenly let out the most heartbroken scream.

"I'M GONNA KILL HIM! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU! I'LL HAUNT YOU TILL THE ENDS OF HELL! HOW FUCKING COULD YOU, YOU MONSTER!" He screamed, Kuroo struggling to hold him in his arms despite being much more muscular and taller from how much Kenma was wailing his arm. The man in handcuffs just laughed as he was being led into the police car, and Kuroo carried Kenma to his own car, locking the doors once inside and driving off.

"KURO, TAKE ME BACK! TAKE ME BACK RIGHT NOW! I'M GONNA FUCKING KILL HIM, I'M GONNA MURDER HIM! I'M GONNA RIP OFF HIS LIMBS!" Kenma wasn't thinking straight; he was only screaming and crying without knowing what to do. His entire body was shaking from tears and anger as the white body bag being carried out of your house replayed in his mind.

"There's no way in hell she killed herself. He fucking killed her." He said, and Kuroo gave Kenma a side-eye, "you don't know that."

"HE NAILED HER FUCKING WINDOW SHUT. HE WAS LAUGHING! HE'S SICK IN THE HEAD!" He yelled at Kuroo as they stopped outside Kenma's house. "Let's go inside; you need to calm down," Kuroo whispered. He hated seeing Kenma like this, and he had jumped in the car as soon as he saw the news, which Kenma clearly hadn't noticed, but that was explainable since he had been at school and Kuroo hadn't.

They sat on the floor of Kenma's bedroom, Kenma crying and screaming into Kuroo's chest and drenching his shirt with tears as Kuroo could only sit there and stroke his back. He had run out of words to comfort Kenma, and the only thing Kenma saw right now was hatred and anger, so there was no helping him.

_ Kenma woke up in shock, his body shaking. Why did he have such a weird dream? He rubbed his head and picked up his laptop to go on discord so he could text you about his strange dream. _

**sxftkxtty last active:** one and a half year ago

_ "oh right," he whispered to himself, "it wasn't a dream. i'm alone." _

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading, and i hope you liked it. Feel free to leave your thoughts in a comment below, and it would mean a lot if you could leave some kudos!


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